The fellas back East needed a shirt design for the up and coming SHAPE DEUCE video hype…Beer, titties and skateboarding; the cause of, and answer to all of my problems.

I recently designed a new Denver Shop tee for their Dead Winter line…

[Discharge on black Anvil premiums]
50/50

Information Control

Thought Control

Emotional Control

23″ x 32″
3,400 staples on found particle board
2010

Castle Rock, CO. x New York, NY.

2. In your mind what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen Phil Kammer do on a skateboard? What about off the board?
He fs flipped the Civic 10 first try and nollie flipped it second or third try. That was over 10 years ago and pretty crazy at the time. I’m not sure he’s skated since. Off the board… him and Kyle and gone shopping and parked in an underground lot. When you leave you have to insert a prepaid card into a machine that then raises the gate so you can get out. The machine wasn’t reading their card so Phil just got out and lifted the gate with his bare hands so Kyle could drive underneath it.

3. What’s the greatest advice Kyle Kegley has ever given you?
“When you first get to the Lusty Lady, start off in a booth with a one-way mirror. That way you can take a look at the whole ‘dance’ floor and find the best looking girl without offending the gross one right in front of your window.”

4. What is the most bizarre, fucked up, gross or disturbing thing you’ve ever seen on the SLAP message boards?
Most bizarre would be Jayme Fortune’s mental breakdowns. Most fucked up/gross/disturbing would be CigaretteBeer’s dick.

5. I have to hear your pros and cons for living in Los Angeles…
The pros are In n Out and the short 90 minute drive to Carlsbad to buy custom Mouse grip at Ethan’s house. The cons are everything else.

6. You don’t have to name names here but what is the most memorable thing you’ve ever over heard someone say? Mine was when Jamie Thomas told my friend Justin he was going to hell…
It wasn’t so much overheard as it was said directly to me but I’ll never forget the time I told Dayne Brummet the back tail he just did was good and he responded with “I guess… I’ve done a lot in my day”.

7. Now that you’re on The Denver Shop what do you have lined up for 2010? Tony Mellick says he needs a welcome to the team web clip asap…
I plan on having a ‘fresh’ part in the new Denver Shop video “Best Day Ever” as well as a full ‘hesh’ part in some Utah video. It’s gonna be a good year.

8. When was the first time you met Steve Gonzales? How has he affected your life since then?
The first time I met him was around 11 years ago. I was skating the ledges behind Fred Meyer in Kirkland trying nollie noseslide nollie heelflip out and he skated up as I landed on one. I remember him saying “oooohhh fuck… hey, $5 if you land it next try”. I didn’t land it but he bought me a gatorade. Since then he’s pretty much been my favorite dude ever.

9. What are your top 5 favorite skate videos of all time?
1. Second Hand Smoke
2. Urban Rubble
3. Who Cares?
4. Manual Labor
5. That youtube clip of the kid trying to ollie a 13 flat 13

10. What’s the funnest thing to do in Europe besides skateboarding? Prostitutes, drugs, delicious food?
All of the above (except drugs and food). Europe is the best.

11. I have to ask…what was it like growing up with your brothers? I mean fuck, those are two wild and crazy personalities coupled with physically intimidating body types…I mean shit man, Jeff sent me a email with no subject and no actual text at all! There was just a photo of prime rib attached to it. Jeesh, and Stephen stared at me like he was going to beat me up after I asked him if he could pass the parmesan cheese at your bachelor party!
Ever since you replied to one of Jeff’s emails with “I LOVE BALLS!”, you’ve been one of his favorite people. Stephen still wants to beat you up.

12. Have you ever walked into a bathroom and seen something weird? Like ICP taggings, blood or poop not in the toilet? I saw blood and teeth in the Castle Rock rec center bathroom in 2002 at teen night.
I was taking a piss in a urinal once when someone posted it up to the urinal next to me and starting pissing. About 10 seconds in he looked directly at me and said “Do you ever staring going number 1 and then all of a sudden have to go number 2?”. He then zipped up his pants and walked into a stall. It was pretty fucked up.

13. Will technology help us more or hurt us more in the next 3 years? Are you buying the new iphone since yours got 360 flipped on?
I’ve been trying to pre-order a new phone all morning but Apples server keeps crashing. FML.

14. Everybody wants to know who you are going to shout out! Any hellos, goodbyes, fuck offs, or any hello Joey Suriels!?!?!?!?
I once showed the City Star team around Seattle on their way up to Slam City Jam. Joey was one of the nicest dudes ever but really starting getting bummed that I kept bringing them to rails for Spanky and Mikey Taylor. We then went to Dicks for some food and Mikey couldn’t stop laughing at the name.

Miss you already Barns…

THE BEAST MASTER

Josh Murphy is anotherdudewithablog.blogspot.com

1. Crowded whorehouses. I don’t like when the line spills out into the street. In Jackson Heights, I saw a Puerto Rican man in a karate suit get run over by a taxicab while waiting in line. As he was being put in the ambulance, I heard him say, “After karate class, I always need to bust my nut off. This wasn’t supposed to happen to me. Not like this.” I heard he died shortly after.

2. Dishonest oyster bars. I went to an oyster bar in the summer of 1982 that served cat meat instead of real oysters. Somehow they made the cat meat look and taste nearly identical to the type of mediocre synthetic oysters that you can find growing in the tanks of Sheepshead Bay. I remember that the horseradish was a strange fluorescent orange color. I should have known something was wrong when they were only charging five cents an oyster and everyone eating looked like they had throat cancer.

3. The Nigerian rat salesmen of 14th Street. Those guys are relentless.

4. White supremacists disguised as stockbrokers.

5. Cheap hotels that charge by the minute to accommodate the growing American trend of premature ejaculators.

6. Elementary school boys with facial hair.

7. Shoe stores that carry only huge sizes for massive feet. I’m not sure why so many of these places are popping up now. Maybe it has to do with the increase in juvenile steroid use?

8. There’s a drugstore uptown, by a church, which has two full rows of douche bottles. On Sundays, the owner rents the place out for mock gay weddings, and once a month they throw an underground rave for pampered dykes. In the mornings, it always smells of tuna fish and lime juice.

9. The influx of Finnish hand-job parlors is a nuisance and an eyesore. It reminds me of Prohibition. We need to close down these places before they rot our collective moral fabric and corrupt our beautiful, wayward children.

10. There are way too many incarcerated people now. Death row is bursting at the seams. We need to set the prisoners free. We need to give each of them a healthy mule and a gift certificate to Starbucks. We need to legalize arson and turn toward communism.

January 24th, 1987

Take a peek…